nausea

Did I mention that my house is always clean (by my standards, not my mother's) now? Did I also mention that I went to 7 am yoga today and it made my throw up?

cecy moment

Cecily: "What if we could call Heavenly Father on the phone?"
Me: "That would be cool."
Cecily: (in the voice of Heavenly Father) "Yes, I can make your allergies go away so you can get any dog you want. Yes I can make your Daddy want to get a pet. What else do you want?"

the same

Life in Provo in the fall of 2008 has wiggled itself into a frighteningly predictable routine. It is comfortable and comforting, verging on dull, and wonderful. I rarely go out or see people, which I haven't missed yet. I'm not sure if this is in reaction to the insanity of the past six (or is it actually the last 20?) years or if I am just sinking into my natural proclivity towards agoraphobia and anti-sociality. Either way, I'm enjoying this banal routine immensely. Here's the way it works:

Weekdays:

6.30 am--Snuggle with Moses

7.45 am--Wake up Lula

8.10 am--Give Lula toast as she walks out the door with Lola and Maude

8.15 am--Give Moses cereal/unload dishwasher

8.30 am--Kiss Moses and Christian good-bye

9.00 am--Snuggle with Cecily/story time with Cecy

(listen to Morning Edition from 7-9)

9.30 am--Go out for a 44 oz. Diet Coke in my pajamas (thanks to the Crest drive thru)

9.45 am--After caffeine kicks in, tidy house, gather laundry, start new load (listen to Diane Rheam if her guest isn't too hideous)

10.00 am--Fold and put away clothes while watching Rachel Ray

11.00 am--Take a shower and get dressed while watching The View

11.30 am--Feed and dress Cecily

12.00 pm--Drop Cecily at school

12.05 pm--Second Crest run/44 oz. Diet Coke

12.20 pm--Read emails and eat lunch

12.45 pm--Organize desk/pay bills/make phone calls to doctors, dentists, etc.

1.15 pm--Submit poetry to two journals ( five poems each)

1.30 pm--Read Emily Dickinson/write new poem

2.30 pm--Work on novel

4.00 pm--Pick up Mo, Cecily and Lula arrive home on foot

4.15 pm--practicing, homework, snacks (usually popcorn, apples or cookies), playdates

5.30 pm--start dinner

6.30 pm--eat dinner

7.00 pm--clean kitchen/Mo's bath

8.00pm--Mo in bed, Lula and Cecy in pj's for story time

9.00 pm--Lula and Cecy bedtime, Lara TV/reading time (I watch House, ER, Law and Order and am reading mostly George Pellecanos, Richard Price, the New Yorker, and THE FIVE MINUTE CLINICAL CONSULT that Kindra gave me. Sometimes I check out y'all's blogs and facebook)

10.30 pm--Letterman

11.00 pm--fall asleep watching Letterman with C.

The days have an equally predictable pattern of events:

Monday--Drive Lula to choir at 7.15 am/FHE

Tuesday--dollar scoop nite at Baskin and Robbins

Wednesday--Christian does boys nite out

Thursday--Lula has piano lessons

Friday morning--errands, story time, corn dogs and kudos at Macey's with Cecily

Friday evening--dinner out with C.

Saturday evening--movie night with kids, popcorn and treats

Sunday--Church, nap, make mashed potatoes, pick up Eliza, go to Bam's for dinner, watch Simpson's.

And then it starts all over again.

momo post-it

We are working on recognizing #'s 1-20. Moses is doing great! The #'s he needs to work on are 2, 4, 7, 10, 11, 12, 17, 20. Way to go, Mo!

heart,

Miss Christy

Moses was such a good example all day today. Whenever it got too loud, he reminded the class that "it's time to be quiet." So cute!

heart,

Miss Christy

When Moses was eating his soup he said, "Yum, I love porridge." Or however you spell that word. It was so funny to me.

heart,

Miss Christy

ABC post-it

Moses knows ALL the letters and their sounds. Oh MY GOODNESS!! WOW!!

Heart,

Miss Christy

p.s.--Miss Christy also added this verbal comment: "And he's the youngest one in the class." I'm so proud!

momo post-it

No one is obligated to read these--it's so I have proof of his existence when he's older, I mean proof that I'm a caring mother.

Moses was making the best choices today.  When everyone else was talking, Moses was sitting with a HUGE bubble in his mouth.  What a helper!

heart, 

Miss Christy

When we were eating lunch, Moses asked: "Where do pineapples come from? Do they grow on pinetrees?"  What a fun brain!:)

heart,

Miss Christy

At lunch  today we forgot to give a boy celery.  When the boy said he didn't have any, Moses immediately gave him one and said, "You can have one of mine." :)

heart,

Miss Christy

long live the queen of the dance floor!

I'm back. Finally. Here is some general stuff:
No, I haven't made official friends yet. I mean, there are girls in my class who I sit with during breaks, and I invited them to go shopping with me today (woo!) and they said maybe we could next week on our field trip, or something like that. Everybody in our school lives an hour away from each other, so I'm trying to feel like that's why they didn't want to do something outside of school with me. And please, don't tell me how pathetic it is that I don't have friends yet-- I already lie awake at night thinking about it. HOWEVER, if you have advice please give it to me.
I am back in the tenth grade. It is hard, but my teachers don't seem to expect me to do homework or take tests. They probably will soon, but for now I am still just a week in and don't know any of the stuff we're being tested on. When the teacher seems to be not busy, I sometimes ask him or her to give me a slowish explanation, and that helps.
I went to church! It was wonderful-- what else can I say on the matter?
I went to the disco! It was also wonderful, and I forgot how much I belong on the dance floor. Everybody called me Pippi Langstraumpf (pippi longstockings) on account of my pigtails, and probably 100 different people came up to me and said (in German) "Well hey there cool tutu girl dancing with uncouth vigor, what's your name?" and I would say, "Hey there neo-80's German scene kid, I'm Ingrid from America" and then we would dance some more. At one point, one of my new friends pulled me out of the fog and was like, "this boy thinks your hot", but then he was bashful so I took the next conga line back into the mosh pit and kept dancing. It was great to make friends without having to talk a lot.
Um, I don't know... host family's good, food's good, weather's terrible. I miss you all and of course advice and letters are always appreciated!

momo's prayer for flying things with buttons on them

Thank you for that Mommy can get me a rocketship with a button on it, and thank you for that Mommy can get me an airplane with a button on it and thank you for that Mommy can get me a helicopter on it, and thank you that we can fly away. Amen.

brittle portraits

brittle portraits slip


from their albums’ sticky pages

our lord, once wrapped in linen,
sits on a stone waiting to be kissed

the vintage coin, that burnished sun, glints

our lord emerges from his declivity, lids still closed

our father invents a system:
the family’s hustle blooms,
the sisters discover that slender, delectable missives
have shone beyond the albums’ pages
from behind the portraits

our mother’s stricken intensity
swirls cotton into thread
she wants to tie us all together
before she goes
her fern swoops
insects crawl up stems towards her

our lord, once discarded, composes a series,
filling flesh with blood



p.s.--this one's not from the new collection. not sure where it will go, if anywhere. it was written at the same time as the other ones, but didn't fit in there.

p.s.

Eliza was the best Moses wrangler ever at church today! Thank you so much, LiLi.

imagine my dismay

to come home from church and find NO messages from Ingrid. This is killing me. So Ingrid, if you're out there, you'd best write me a long and very detailed email/yo post right away. I have nothing to tell the millions of people who ask about you every day, and I need to send off your Christmas package before too long, so I need info!!!! I'm sorely tempted to call, but I'm more afraid of your host mother than you are.

Christian's been in Seattle this week, so we're quite bored here. Yesterday I finally got myself back to yoga. It was hard. I did a grueling dress rehearsal for the primary program with the exceedingly naughty assisting, attempted to clean the house, and then went for an exciting girl's night out with Kindra that included stops at BOTH Costco and Sears, where I found the vacuum of my dreams at a deep discount (actually it's my runner-up dream vacuum--first place goes to the expensive and complex Dyson. Maybe some day.)

We had our primary program today, and the children were amazing. They can sing like nobody's business. I took the littles to McDonald's for Happy Meals which they "ate" while we drove out to Utah Lake. We thought we'd play at the beach because it's brilliant outside, but it turns out it was also brilliantly cold, and we were wearing church clothes and sweaters. MoMo is napping, and I'm off for my own little nap time with my new Henning Menkell book from the library, then Bam's for dinner, then Daddy comes home! Daddy, how 'bout a Seattle trip post, and how 'bout a word from Eva?

xo y'all,

Mommy

preparing for snow

One more piece from GENTIAN:

gaunt swimmers ransomed

slip across the moat to autumntime
shoeless aught in their pockets
dumb pleas too slight for hearing—
for harebell and jessamine
capering tipplers humming through the chamber of august
to hallow

*

docile spectres
their clocks stealing humbler and softer ticks
sweep the meadows
scooping out earth’s last pearls

*

harebell’s and jessamine’s cloaks fall off—
slashes of yellow and purple
against dun

*

arrange yourselves for winter—
snow outweighs grasses—
the fields shooken down—

momo post-it

Moses was so funny today. I asked him to put his alligator in his cubby and he told me that he couldn't because it was snowy in there. What a goof!

heart,

Miss Kelsey

the person that lays down and other poems

Among other procrastinations, I began compiling the poems in my new collection THE GENTIAN WEAVES HER FRINGES. It's nearly done, about forty poems. Here's one of them:

september’s escutcheon espied

o preparations of her vestments—
the gauze sun hides her nimble incisions—
winter’s surplice—
spring’s kirtle
the blank easel
composed ditty
we know fall’s ruddy scrabble will end in bone
slewn tattered dandelions
lying in their dark parlors
unnumbered alms for the necromancer’s saucy predictions
(the dandelion’s baffled pall long scattered aforetime)

*

o struggling rill
that ushers in the amethyst

******
In order to get Momo and Cecy to behave while I write (I feel terrible--I try not to write when they're home) I told them they could either go to bed or play hospital. They're currently under the dining room table (bumping against my feet) taking turns being the doctor and "the person that lays down."

Procrastination II

Today, in order to procrastinate, I have:

1) watched Rachel Ray in bed

2) spend 140.00 at Office Max on office supplies, and organized said supplies in new organizer (Steven R. Covey calls this "Sharpening the Saw")

3) applied make-up

4) read a chapter in the Richard Price novel I have checked out from the Library

5)eaten sharp cheddar melted cheese sandwiches with tomatoes and freshly ground sea salt and black pepper, mini m&ms, and marshmallow mateys

what I should be doing is:

1) medical paperwork

2) laundry

3) bills

4) helping lula with beaver project

5) WORKING ON MY NOVELS--THIS IS THE HARDEST ONE!!!!! (GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS FOR GETTING OVER MY WRITER'S BLOCK!)

Today is my Special Friend Day!

(Cecily would tell you that the title of this post has an exciting mark at the end of it!)

I like to eat tuna and sour candy.

I like to play with Polly Pocket.

I like to play on the computer with my Mom.

I like to play the drums with my Dad.

I want to be an artist when I grow up.

I had a vacation at the beach in Seattle.

My favorite color is turquoise.

I have 1 brother and 3 sisters.

My name is Cecily A.

Mrs. Whitaker loves Cecily.

Always a Bridesmaid

I was asked to be a bridesmaid again in another book contest--The St. Lawrence Prize notified me today that I was a finalist in their contest. For those of you not in the poetry book contest world, that means that you will get your name on their website and have something to add to your resume, but you will not be getting your book published by them, at least not in this contest cycle. I figured I've submitted to forty or fifty presses, and been finalist three times. But that was all BEFORE I made revisions to the mss. Now that it's perfect, someone's gotta take it.

xo,

L

MoMo Post-it

Moses loves being a good example. The only way he will not get up from nap-time is if I tell him that he is not being a good example. He loves making good choices like folding his legs during listening time and letting everyone know!

Heart,

Miss Kelsey


Moses is very loving! Today he decided to KISS everyone! Not the best idea he's ever had, but still so CUTE!

Heart,

Miss Kelsey

Moses is an amazing storyteller. We were playing add-on story and he had a ton of ideas to say about ghosts and giants and doors. It was good fun.

Heart,

Miss Christy

Moses is so funny. He kept saying that he "couldn't see" when I told him he had to leave his sun glasses in his cubby. So cute!

Heart,

Miss Kelsey

Story Time

We've been having the cutest story time every night lately--after their bath Moses asks Cecily to "read" to him, so she gets out a blanket, pillow, and stack of books and they snuggle on the couch, he on top of her arm, and read together. I'm not allowed to come in. It's so adorable I can hardly stand it. And lately, Cecily has been asking to help put Momo to bed. I let her stay in his bed until they fall asleep, and then Lula starts asking if we can bring Cecily down to her bed. Both Moses and Lula like for Cecily to tell them stories. Lula says it's because she want's to hear what Cecily will come up with. I do too!

It's great to see the kids bonding, and to see a special role for Cecily emerging.

Blood

Last night I felt a little let-down after all of the election elation. I'm haunted by the interview with John Lewis that night on CNN--did anyone see it? The interviewer asked Lewis, with visible damage remaining from his severe beating in the sixties, if he had cried that day. Lewis said yes, he had cried that day, but that sometimes he felt that all his tears were gone. I'm so happy that we elected Obama, but still so sad that this election was bought for the price of so much blood, so many lives. This week created such a tangible arc between the Civil Rights movement and present times--it's never been so vivid to me before.